So, I’ve been getting quite a bit of feedback about this whole How Glo Got Her Groove Back series…and it’s been completely, 100%, positive and encouraging. No detractors, no critics – well none that are saying so anyway. Perhaps they’ve all gone away and stopped reading!
So, thank you, guys and girls! Your encouragement means a great deal to me. It’s enough for a girl to keep her writing dream alive. Having said that, it has been a while since my last post. I have no further comment at this time…except to say that I will write about different things when it feels like the right time 🙂
Suffice it to say, the learning did not end with the breaking of the nigh-on-unbelievable – even to me, and I lived it (!) – 23-year kissing drought. Actually, the learning still continues to this day. But more on that later.
So – the guy who broke my kissing drought. Let’s call him Kissing Drought Killer (KDK for short). Umm, yeah, nah, he wasn’t A Thing. Actually, at the time he kissed me we had already agreed that we would not be A Thing. So it was literally just a kiss. OK, maybe a few kisses. Just to make sure that kissing drought got the Kicking it deserved, you understand. I mean, you can’t blame a girl for being curious after more than 2 decades of no one coming near her lips like that!
But KDK must have decided maybe we could be A Thing, because he seemed much more ‘engaging’ post-kiss(es) than pre-kiss(es) – messaging me, telling me I was amazing, asking when he was going to see me again etc.
But he had previously told me he was only interested in a casual shagging arrangement. Which was and still is totally not my thing. It sounds crazy to most people I know, but I am in all honesty, saving myself for my Future Husband (Future Husband, you’re welcome, you lucky, lucky, lucky sod). KDK knew that, but maybe he didn’t believe someone like me actually existed for real in 2014. Who would? But I do. Yep. I totally – unabashedly, unapologetically, unashamedly – do.
Goodness me Future Husband, I hope you’re worth all the ridicule and incredulity I regularly face for my wildly old-fashioned view that you are the only man who I want to Have Me. And, oh my, are you going to Have Me. Just saying 🙂
So anyway, meanwhile KDK was starting to be a little tiresome with his repetitive yet erroneous insistence that I was really just That Kind Of Girl, and that he just needed to ‘bring it out in me’. So, applying the all the good stuff I’d learned so far, I decided to set a boundary. Not a wall, but a boundary. I’ve learned there is a difference, and that is pretty damn cool. That there is a difference, I mean.
I told him that I would be happy to be friends, but if he wouldn’t respect that (i.e. if he would try and get all kissy and the rest etc), then I wouldn’t see him again. To his credit, he said that he would try to push my boundaries and I should just accept that. Big ups to him for honesty. But um, actually, no, I don’t have to accept that. I can choose not to spend any more of my time with you. Goodbye. *smiling sweetly* *hairflick*
Gosh. This realization that I have rights, that I have a voice, that I have choices, that I can say no – it’s awesome! Almost intoxicating. But God be keeping His girl’s head level on this wee learning journey, thankfully. Balance in all things…
And I still learned. I learned that a 23-year kissing drought is not long enough to make me forget how to do it. Yay! Apparently it’s like riding a bike. You never forget how to. So ahaaa, there is hope for the old girl yet…
I also had learned how to detect – and politely, respectfully reject – advances from guys whose intentions were misguided at best and disingenuous at worst. They were everywhere on Tinder!
What I had not been expecting – this being Tinder after all – was to meet someone whose intentions were heartfelt and sincere.
But then again, I had been repeatedly told that I was not anything like the other girls on Tinder either. Or anywhere else for that matter.
Just goes to show…best we leave our pre-conceived ideas and expectations at the door…because then, anything can happen 🙂