#lovewins…the Good ‘Christian’ Girl and the ‘Gay’ Model Booker…oh yes, I am totally Going There…

So a few posts ago I wrote about the head booker at my modelling agency.

I mentioned in that post that I wanted to write more about him. Because I’m always writing about awesome, extraordinary, beautiful-hearted people in this blog 🙂

Here’s the thing.   If you were to look at our profiles ‘on paper’, at our ‘labels’ (me: Good ‘Christian’ Girl; him: ‘Gay’ Model Booker) well, it doesn’t exactly seem like we’d have anything in common at all, me and my head booker. In fact, it might seem that we could strongly disagree on a few things.

But anyone who has lived long enough will know that who we are ‘on paper’, who we are ‘labeled’ as – often has nothing to do with who we actually are, what we have been through, what we might be going through, and what is in our hearts.

So this head booker, who I adore. Well, yes, he’s gay. I know, I know, you’re not that surprised, this being the fashion industry and all.

So anyway, the Good Christian Girl me, who spent years bound up in religiousness, well she would have found it a bit difficult, meeting someone like my head booker…because on the one hand she would have completely adored him for who he is because he’s such a lovely person, but on the other hand that ‘religious’ obligation she felt, the pressure she felt, to ‘speak out’ against homosexuality ‘for God’, would have stressed her out a lot.

Which would she have chosen, that Good Christian Girl me? Love and appreciation and respect for the person, or a dispassionate 3-point lecture on why that person had made ‘wrong’ lifestyle choices and needed to ‘get right with God’? Would she have chosen love, or religion?

Love and religion. I have learned, that never the twain shall ever truly meet. They cannot co-exist. They repel one another. Religion hisses violently, viciously, self-righteously, venomously, at love. But ultimately, (and my Daddy God totally backs this up in His Bible that so many religious people sadly misuse and abuse and hold over other people’s heads to shame and condemn them and drive them away), love wins.

#lovewins. Pretty ubiquitous hashtag of late. But see, God has been saying that, quite literally, forever. Because that’s totally His heart. From the beginning of time, that has been His heart. In the end, #lovewins. He says so. He has always said so. He started it. This love thing. He is it. This love thing.

As it turned out, by the time I met my head booker, Good Christian Girl me, that hemmed-in, caged-in, suffocated, religious girl, that persona – she was a thing of the past. I hadn’t – and haven’t – lost my heart love for God, my desire for Him, my hunger for Him and His best…but I had let go of that persona. Because that Good Christian Girl persona – although she meant well, and she was only trying to do the right thing and protect me in a way – she wasn’t really me. She was getting in my way, dammit.

By the time I’d met my head booker, I had let go of the persona, and all her baggage, and was growing into me.

I love chatting with my head booker when I go into the agency. We might only chat for a few minutes, but those minutes have always made an impression on me. In addition to being Just Amazing at what he does, he is one of the most genuine, authentic people I have ever met. There’s no pretense with him. And he’s so very accepting. Of me. Of everyone.

And everyone loves him for it. Whenever his name is mentioned at a shoot – the hair and make-up artists, the stylists, the photographers, anyone within earshot who knows him, will say how awesome and lovely he is. Because he is 🙂

One thing that really made such an impression on me about my head booker, is the beauty of his relationship.

He’s been with his partner, who is now his husband (marriage equality is, like, So 2 Years Ago in New Zealand), for 30 years and counting.

So this image, this stereotype, of this ‘gay lifestyle’…that I’d had drummed into me in religious circles…of it being nothing more than rampant promiscuity, raging immorality and meaningless sex etc – well, all I can say is, that may be true for some, but it’s not true for all. And it’s grossly unfair, and ignorant, to suggest otherwise. And it’s no different to the heterosexual landscape – some are out there casually hooking up, some are serial dating, some are in committed relationships. Same same but different. But same.

And anyway. Here’s the deal. Everybody gets to be choosing how they respond to stuff that happens in their lives, and owning how that pans out in the way they live their lives. Capiche? That’s how God made us, our free will to choose is totally His idea…if that’s how much respect God shows us, always reaching out to us with His heart because He loves us so very much and wants connection with us, but still giving us the freedom to choose our own path…then I reckon I wanna be like my Daddy God. Just saying.

So anyway – my head booker, when he’s talked about his relationship, about his husband, it’s so clear to me, so beautifully clear, that their love and respect for one another, their commitment to one another, is based on a solid foundation and is absolutely real and true. No less real or true than for an opposite sex couple. I daresay, moreso, given the challenges and prejudice they may well have had to overcome together, particularly early on. They have built a life together over the last 30 years. And like any other couple, they will have had to work at their relationship, to deal with things as they come up.

So they will know their stuff when it comes to what it takes to make a relationship work – and my head booker has all the wisdom and insight on relationships that someone would have after being in a committed relationship for 3 decades. I love hearing him share that wisdom and insight, and learning from him, because it’s coming from a beautiful compassionate heart, and from a place of Having Totally Been There And Having Made It Work.

I gotta say. Respect. 30 years in a relationship, and still going strong.

Regardless of whichever view anyone might hold on the ‘rights’ or the ‘wrong’s or the ‘morality’ of gay relationships – in this day and age of stuff that seems to end up short-changing people of all orientations in the long run…the meaningless hook-ups, the disposable relationships, the short-lived marriages, the serial monogamy…for any couple to be committed to one another in a genuine heart love relationship for 30 years, is worthy of some Serious Respect.

Wherever there is heart love, of any kind, there will be something of God’s heart in it. Because God says that He is love.

Rinse and repeat.

Wherever there is heart love, of any kind, there will be something of God’s heart in it. Because God says that He is love.

#lovewins. Whatever form it takes.

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